Going online is a lot less exiting now that I can do it again. Staying away from Shannon is difficult but neccessary, I still like RHCP, my new job is awesome and exhausting, you probably don't understand how tired I am but I am extremely, sickeningly, tired. I can't go to sleep, I am anxious about something. I know what it is, its more than one thing but it's not. It's all a part of the same what does apoplexy mean?
I have to write, I need to. But it's just like sleep, just beyond my reach. Life is so terrifyingly beautiful it makes me wonder why people waste it, and then I remember I Am one of them, but that isn't right.
Lawlimi cannot die.
LUX AETERNA
savagi
MY favorite song is playing
Lux Aeterna may be the greatest song of all, but it only punctuates my loneliness. One of the side effects of using people as the objects they most decidely are is the lack of a confidante. The most beautiful thing is I can the see answer clearer than ever, but that doesn't mean I'm any closer to apotheosis.
I'm tired of humans and their ideosyncratic natures, their failsafes and their self effacement. I'm tired of the wall that keeps me asleep and I am angry that I have helped to build it.
I'm bored with preachers and their contagious lunacy, I'm bored with having no one to talk to. So often I hint, I am the devil, but it's always a joke, at least it is percieved as such.
It doesn't scare me when I realize that I am more disgusted by the thought of preparing lobster than stopping a man's heart, what is frightening is that I could go my whole life without telling the whole truth to anyone. I think I will make a list of what I should not forget.
You can't just whisper reality, it's bigger than the words we have to describe it.
I'm tired of humans and their ideosyncratic natures, their failsafes and their self effacement. I'm tired of the wall that keeps me asleep and I am angry that I have helped to build it.
I'm bored with preachers and their contagious lunacy, I'm bored with having no one to talk to. So often I hint, I am the devil, but it's always a joke, at least it is percieved as such.
It doesn't scare me when I realize that I am more disgusted by the thought of preparing lobster than stopping a man's heart, what is frightening is that I could go my whole life without telling the whole truth to anyone. I think I will make a list of what I should not forget.
You can't just whisper reality, it's bigger than the words we have to describe it.
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Indescribable
# 1 We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable
# Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
# Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
# Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
# Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
# Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
# Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
# Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
# Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
# Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
# Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out
# Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
Monkeys make suits for monkeys.
# Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
# Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
# Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
# Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
# Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
# Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
# Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
# Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
# Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
# Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out
# Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
Monkeys make suits for monkeys.
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